Charlie's Birth Story

"You understand there are risks to anesthesia?" the anesthesiologist asked me.

"Yes," I managed to get out, waiting and wanting to be knocked out as quickly as possible.

After a few more quick questions, he placed the mask on my face and I blissfully fell into unconsciousness. I woke up in the recovery room about an hour later. I'm a little unclear on some of the details, but have managed to piece together most of what happened from family, friends, medical staff and paperwork. 

On October 13th, I woke up around 12 am from a contraction. It was strong enough to wake me up, but not a serious one yet. Kind of a warning. I continued to have contractions off and on for the rest of the night/morning, but managed to get sleep in between them. I had a scheduled checkup that day at the birthing center; I was hopeful that labor might be starting. My baby boy was 37.5 weeks (40 weeks is full term). The midwife agreed that something might be starting, but I tried not to get my hopes up. I continued to have contractions off and on throughout the day, but it hadn't developed into a pattern yet. We put all the grandparents on alert and made sure we had everything packed.

I pulled out a puzzle to work on, to keep myself distracted and to keep myself upright/standing, in hopes that labor would progress faster. Around 9 pm I decided to lay down for a little while. I woke up to some very strong contractions around 11 pm and knew that I was done sleeping. They were really starting to hurt and it took all of my focus and concentration to work through them. We called the midwife around 12 am. The contractions hadn't established the pattern they say to watch out for (5 minutes apart, lasting for 1 minute, consistent for 1 hour), but things felt like they were progressing rather quickly. We said we'd meet at the birthing center at 1:15 am. 

We arrived and I was thankfully already 5 cm dilated (the goal is 10 cm). I climbed into the nice, deep bathtub; they thought it might help relax my body. Daniel stayed with me and the midwives went to fill out some paperwork down the hall. The contractions were getting stronger and stronger; I hadn't been in the water for more than 20 minutes and I was already feeling the urge to push. Between contractions, I mumbled to Daniel to get the midwife. She came quickly, expecting that maybe I needed a little encouragement. 

She was surprised to find I was already 9.5 cm, and it was almost time to push. A few more minutes passed and my body took over and started working to push baby boy out. I'm not sure how long I pushed for - maybe 10 or 20 minutes, but it didn't take long for him to come. I hadn't planned on having a water birth, but at that point there was no way I was able to get out of the bathtub. 

What a blissful moment it is to birth a child; for the intense pain to fade away to the background and you hold your child in your arms that you have carried in your womb for 9+ months. It is an intense relief for the pain to end as you come face to face for the first time with your child.

Charles Duncan Yarborough, Charlie for short, was born at 2:20 am, 7 lbs 5 oz and 20" long.

I snuggled him and we waited for the placenta to deliver...and waited...and waited. They gave me pitocin to help the process along, but it still wouldn't come. I'll spare you the details...but my blood pressure started to rise, and I started to bleed more than what was considered acceptable. I was so tired; I had lost 2 nights of sleep and just endured labor and delivery. And now this. 

They called for an ambulance to bring me to the hospital; the midwives wanted me to receive the care I needed before things got any worse. Daniel and I headed to the hospital; we left Charlie with the midwives for them to give him a thorough checkup. I was too weak and tired to have Charlie come with me. By that point the pitocin had really kicked in and I was having some pretty strong contractions again. My body was trying to push to get the placenta out, but every time I pushed I lost more blood. So I had to try not to push, which is moderately tortuous and fairly impossible.

We arrived at the hospital and they brought me straight up to the operating room. The surgeon and the anesthesiologist asked me a handful of questions, got my verbal consent and mercifully knocked me out with anesthesia. 

They were able to remove the placenta, and they gave me four units of blood. I had lost around 1.2 liters at the birthing center and I believe another 1.8 liters on the operating table, for a total of 3 liters lost. A pregnant woman has 6 liters of blood in her body. The placenta circulates .5 liter of blood every minute. I was very thankful for the quick actions by the midwives, nurses and doctors. I know that God used them to preserve my life. 

I woke up in the recovery room feeling worlds better, very thankful to have gotten my first real bit of rest in 2 days. Daniel was there with me. I had so many wires and tubes coming out of me, I felt like I could barely move. The midwives arrived shortly after I awoke and brought us our sweet Charlie. They had done his newborn exam and ran through a list of positive things concerning his health. Then, they very sweetly and gently started to tell us about a number of physical markers that they had also observed, saying they were probably markers of a genetic disorder and recommended we have Charlie admitted to the hospital so that they could run some tests on him. They spoke with the nursing staff and helped to pave the way for that to happen.

in the recovery room

After a couple of hours in the recovery room, they sent us upstairs to what would be our room for the next 2 days. It took until sometime that afternoon for the hospital to admit Charlie; I don't really remember in what order things happened, but a pediatrician and a geneticist both came and took a look at Charlie. They were both pretty confident that Charlie had Down syndrome, but we would need to wait 1-2 weeks for blood work to confirm that. In the meantime, they checked out his heart with an echocardigram (approximately 50% of those with Down syndrome have structural problems with their hearts), did an abdominal x-ray to check for intestinal blockages (also fairly common with Down syndrome), checked his hearing and his thyroid, and a handful of other things.

We were thankful to have everything check out okay. They let us leave Sunday afternoon and we brought our boy home with us. 

We did not have genetic testing done during the pregnancy. Sometimes there are false positives, and with some of the tests there is a risk of miscarriage. Besides, the results wouldn't have changed anything about what we would do. We believe that all life is created by God and that He is the giver and taker of life. 

We received confirmation of a diagnosis of Down syndrome a week and a half later. All of the doctors had agreed they thought that Charlie had it, so it wasn't a surprise to receive the news at that point.

We know that Charlie is our gift from God and that he is exactly who God intends for him to be. That much said, I did go through a short grieving process. The grieving was more for the loss of my expectations than anything else. Charlie will not have the life I had anticipated he would. He will not experience adulthood in the way I expected, and he will likely have more challenges to overcome than the average person.

But he will also experience life with a greater measure of happiness than most people, and he will share that happiness with those around him. One dear friend shared the results of this study with me, that 99% of  people with Down syndrome are happy with their lives. That brought me great comfort, because I had spent so much time thinking about what Charlie would not experience, about all of the things that would be lost to him for his diagnosis and being sad for him. But the odds are he will be the happiest out of all of us. And I believe one of the greatest desires for any parent is that their child would be happy. What joy that brought to my heart!

I have a lot more thoughts on all of this, but I think I will save them for another post. Thank you for reading our story.