So my sabbatical from blogging is over (not that I took one intentionally). Things got busy at work, I fell out of the habit (do 8 blog posts constitute a habit?) and then *big entrance music* the return of Lyme disease. I kind of expected this at some point, but it's completely different to expect something and to actually deal with it.
It has been something that has touched every aspect of my life - I find it's hard to write a blog post about anything else because it is the domineering thought in my head right now, that thing that if I'm not thinking about currently, it's just below the surface and I'll be thinking about it shortly. I guess that's one of the things taking multiple medicines at different intervals throughout the day can do to you.
I have a hard time writing a blog post about Lyme disease. I've had it for at least 10 years and it has dramatically affected my life. I have written at least 3 blog posts on the subject, but I can't seem to get them right - so I've yet to post one on the subject.
Writing about my struggle with Lyme disease forces me to dig deep into the emotions that I have shoved away and ignored as I've tried to deal with a long term illness. And let me tell you, there are a lot of different emotions - some closer to the surface, others buried deeply down.
The mental image that comes to mind is drilling for oil. If you hit a highly pressurized pocket of oil, it's going to come shooting out of there and you'd better hope you have some way of bringing it under control. All these emotions that I've been burying and ignoring won't go away. The pressure will just increase over time.
Every time I attempt to write about this chapter of my life, so many different emotions and memories come gushing out. I'm the kind of writer that writes what I'm thinking. I don't think ahead or plan what I'm going to write. I just start with the topic that's on my mind and see where it takes me.I process things as I write. And therein lies my problem. It's too big a subject for me to tackle that way.
Here's to eating the elephant one bite at a time.
2 comments:
so sorry ! I don't know much about this disease, but I'm sure its very tough. So there is no cure just managing it?
Love you! Prayers!
Traci
If you catch it and treat it early, you can get rid of it. But if it goes untreated for a while, it's a very different story. I'll be posting more on the subject over time :-)
Post a Comment